The dried leaves, brown and crispy, swirled around in front of me being swept up by the wind. Across the road, a yard still has a few piles of snow, hanging on, refusing to melt. And yet the green is starting to become visible in the lawns, on trees tiny buds are beginning to emerge.
While the calendar states "Spring" is here, there are remnants of seasons past visible, apparent.
In January, the beginning of 2012, I knew this was to be a year of change. My spirit could feel something shifting, not entirely sure what all was to change, I kept speaking out "this is the year of change". And the first quarter, things were changing quite a bit. Lots was happening and I could see it. But then there was a brief pause, and it seemed to snow once more even though it's supposed to be spring already. Now, I feel it again, the change, the shift that's the theme of this year.
While there is change, in my life and around me, there are still remnants of the last seasons hanging on. I am accepted in my church and making good friends already (after a long time of being the "outsider"), but many days I still struggle with thoughts of rejection and loneliness. The leadership has brought me onto one of the lead teams, and onto a counsel, and I still struggle with wondering if I'm "qualified" to be there. Did I happen to mention that logic isn't exactly playing into my thoughts? It's not all bad, in fact it's mostly good! My friends are wonderful and varied; the teams I am on, I have actually trained for. But there are still remnants of seasons past, hanging on, not quite ready to leave yet.
It is a new season. This is the year of change. Sometimes I'm a little slow with all of it, but I'll get there. And before I know it, summer will be here in all its glory.
So the leaves blow, and the remaining snow slowly melts away, and I work through the remnants of seasons past with hope for the coming change. The growth may not be immediately apparent, but it's coming.
